Phases of change - Denial

When changes take place, there are five phases are commonly associated with recovering from radical change and they are,

Denial --- Anger --- Bargaining --- Depression --- Acceptance

Denial

"No, how can it happening to me"

"That is impossible, you must have made a mistake"

This is the first step one will face it when things happened. You may get confused and disoriented. You feel a strong need to understand what went wrong and want to know why.

Your immediate response to dramatic change may be denial, numbness, fear, shock, anger or tears. You may find yourself in turmoil, refuse to accept the situation, cannot accept the facts, on and on until you find a way to change gear, take action and regain personal control.

At these situation, it is normal and it is fine for one to go thru the abnormal behaviour. After all we are human being with feeling and emotion. But important is how long we want to stay in that denial situation and how should we react after the denial stage.

There is no magical solution or special miracle. It all in ourselves and our mind and of course God's help and prayer.

What do we want? Do we want to stay in that denial stage? Keep blaming ourselves or others? Keep denining and refused to accept the reality? Or do we want to accept that we have done our best, give in our best effort and there is nothing we can do it now.

Do you know that there is one thing we cannot change and that is our past. We cannot change the situation after what had happened, but we can change our future when we want to move forward from here. We should move on our life rather than park our life at the denial stage. By moving forward you are actually moving one-step away from the denial stage. This might not be the end of the whole situation, in fact the journey later on will be tougher and tired but I will say that it is a step that you have accepted the facts and move on with your life.

Change - it is your choice

Change is everywhere and every time, we are in a constant state of change, as in our society, our environment, our planet, the universe itself and even ourself.

We know that we cannot avoid change but we all know that we can manage change. In order to manage the change ourself effectively we need to understand the fundamental principles of our unique management system: our ever-changing brain.

Our mind is a universe and it is uniquely to our own only and we have total and individual ownership of the knowledge within it. Our brain is the ultimate change agent. Whatever quality of information we put into our brain, whether positive or negative, it will multipy that information to an infinite degree, hence it is important to ensure that you feeding your brain with constructive, positive, appropriate messages, in order to nurture positive, dynamic change.

Think about it. When things happen, what come to your mind. "No, I cannot accept it"; "No, it should not happen like that"; "No..." "No..." and so on and on. All the negative thought just keep flowing in when we start to think negatively. As a result of the negative thought, it affected out our reaction towards the situation that might result to regret later on. So every thought you have, every fantasy you have, every fear you have, every emotional reaction you have changes the possibility of what your next thoughts, emotions and reactions will be.

Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words.

Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions.

Consider and jude your actions, for they have become your habits.

Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values.

Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi

Every time you think, you change. The choice you choose whether you are going to enjoy it or whether you are going to get overwhelmed, it really is that stark. What if we think otherwise, look at situation at another angles, take a pause and think, reassess the situation? Well, you may ask how can we possibly change catastrophically negative events into positive ones? The truth is that we can because we still have choice and influence.

Every time you think, you change. The choice you choose whether you are going to enjoy it or whether you are going to get overwhelmed, it really is that stark. What if we think otherwise, look at situation at another angles?

Remember, the brain is ours and not others. We have the control and the ownership of it. It is a choice what we want our brain to think and what actions we want to take when facing with the situation.